


Sneaking Suspicion

by GloomWeed



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender of Reader not mentioned, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Other, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloomWeed/pseuds/GloomWeed
Summary: Your Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, does his best to comfort you after finding you crying alone in your quarters.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/You
Kudos: 56





	Sneaking Suspicion

**Author's Note:**

> //tw
> 
> MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM

It was late into the evening when Obi-Wan was heading to his quarters to retire for the day. Your lessons ended a little early today and he said you could have the rest of the day to yourself. He hadn’t seen you since then. When he dismissed you, he took note that you seemed upset about something. Assuming you were just frustrated with your lessons, he thought you just might need some time to yourself to reflect. Passing your room, he thought to do a quick check-in. Reaching through the force, he could sense that you were distressed, in pain even. Of course as your Master, he was instantly concerned about you.

  
Obi-Wan knocked three times in the signature way that he always did. “[Y/N]? Is everything alright?” he asked, concern laced into his tone.

  
You quickly wiped the tears off your face and attempted to answer him in your best everything-is-okay voice. “Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask?” You hoped the question would distract him from pressing any further into your wellbeing. Of course, your Master was more intelligent than that.

  
Obi-Wan didn’t buy your words for a second. He entered your room closing the door behind him. The lights to your room were off and only the city lights were dimly lighting your room. Feeling around the wall, he found the light switch and warm yellow light filled the atmosphere. Once he spotted you sitting on your bed, tears soaking your robes and red puffy eyes, his heart broke knowing you have been crying. Seeing his knowing frown and worry in his blue eyes, you looked to your fiddling hands in your lap, face hot with embarrassment and unable to maintain eye contact.

  
Although you didn’t look up, you could sense Obi-Wan left the entryway. After hearing the water run, you realized he was in the refresher. You saw his boots come into your peripheral before he held a glass of water out towards you. Silently you took it from his hands, taking a sip before resting it in your lap.

  
“May I?” you heard Obi-Wan ask. Looking up towards his standing figure, you saw him gesturing towards the spot on the bed next to you. The lump in your throat came back in full force after it became painfully obvious that your Master knew you had been crying and there was no way for you to escape this situation. You hated being this vulnerable in front of anyone, let alone the man you admired and looked up to. All you could muster was a quick nod of approval with your gaze returned to fixate on the glass of water still in your hands.

  
You felt the bed dip next to you as Obi-Wan sat down. He said your name softly and you knew he wanted you to look at him. Reluctantly, you shifted your head towards his burning gaze. Seeing the seriousness in his face, your eyes began to water once more.

  
“What’s troubling you like this?” His voice was soft and trying to be encouraging, but you felt like you couldn’t tell him. With your vision blurring, you took a quick sip of water before placing it on the nightstand next to you. Crossing your legs, you scooted backwards to rest against the headboard. The tears began to pour over as you looked at your Master who was expecting an answer you were sure he wasn’t going to understand. You covered your leaking eyes with the palms of your hands and shook your head.

  
Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to aid you and relieve you of the pain you were clearly experiencing. “Please, [Y/N]. I want to help you. It pains me to see you this way. Tell me what has put you in this state and I will do my very best to rid you of it.”

  
When you still refused to answer, he reached out and gently removed your hands from your face and continued to hold them. You didn’t bother fighting his movements or your streaming tears. “Please.” he repeated.

  
You bit your lip trying to contain your sobbing. You did your best to swallow the lump in your throat before beginning to explain. You couldn’t look Obi-Wan in the eyes. Instead you focused your vision on his hands delicately cupping yours, the warmth comforting you. “I…” you paused, still finding it hard to speak. “I hate… myself.” Hearing yourself say it out loud only makes your tears flow more fiercely. You felt the soothing motion of Obi-Wan rubbing circles onto the top of your hand with his thumb.

  
“Why would you ever think that about yourself?” Obi-Wan couldn’t see how you could possibly hate yourself when he thought so highly of you.

  
You were slow in replying, but Obi-Wan had all the patience in the world for you. “Because…” you paused, taking a deep shaky breath before continuing. “Because I keep making the same stupid mistakes while all the other padawans seem to pick it up so easily. I feel… worthless. Like I’ll never become a great Jedi.” Your eyes darted to his for a split second. His eyes were full of an emotion you couldn’t quite place. “I feel like I’m a huge disappointment…” You retracted one of your hands to wipe the tears and snot on your sleeve and heaved a sigh. “I… try my very best… but it seems like it’s never enough…”

  
Obi-Wan did notice you were struggling with your recent lessons, but he didn’t realize it was bothering you to this degree. You tended to pick things up rather easily when you were younger, so when you suddenly had trouble learning, it must be hard for you to accept. This was only his own running theory at this point.

  
He said your name softly once more to gain your attention. You looked into his concern ridden eyes. He took your hands again in his own, his eye contact never breaking. “You could never disappoint me. You are the most talented and inspiring padawan I have ever had the privilege of teaching.” Your face flushed at the compliment. “It's okay to struggle and ask for help.” You wanted to believe him, but your pride told you otherwise. Obi-Wan paused searching for your understanding in your glossy eyes. “My heart breaks seeing you like this. How long have you felt this way?” How long has he been unaware of your suffering? How long have you felt alone?

  
You retracted both your hands and crossed your arms around yourself, looking away. “A while…” you reluctantly admitted.

  
Noticing your unsubtle body language, Obi-Wan had a sneaking suspicion your pain was much deeper than you were letting on. Carefully he reached out towards your hands and turned your palms upwards and towards himself. Realizing there was no avoiding this any further, you only bit your lip and didn’t bother to pull away from his movements. Carefully, he moved the sleeves of your robes up your arm to put his theory to rest. His eyes widen in surprise seeing the scars along your wrists. How could he have been so blind that he didn’t realize you were putting yourself in pain, for many nights it seemed. There were several horizontal slashes on both arms. He took notice of a fresh cut that was still bleeding. Noticing your arms beginning to shake, Obi-Wan looked up to see you trembling with tears streaming freely down your face.

  
“I’m sorry, Master.” you said, voice wavering.

  
Hearing your voice break like that caused something in him to snap. Immediately Obi-Wan pulled you into a hug. One hand resting on the back of your head while the other wrapped around your shoulders protectively pushing you into his body. You snaked your arms around his torso as your tears stained his robes. You didn’t realize how much you needed a shoulder to cry on. Feeling the warmth coming from his body was comforting. It enveloped you in a blanket of security. You didn’t want to let go. Obi-Wan stroked your hair tenderly as you cried. He couldn’t help but feel guilty as he held you tighter. As your Master, he is supposed to keep you safe. How could he have let this happen? How could he have failed you this severely?

  
After a few moments, your tears began to subside and you began to pull away from the hug. Before you separated completely, Obi-Wan held your injured arm with both his hands delicately as he observed it.

  
“Let me fix this up for you. Don’t move.”

  
Obi-Wan got up from the bed and rushed to the refresher where he grabbed the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet. He returned to his place on the bed in front of you as he was looking through the contents. Finding the alcohol pad, he ripped the packaging open and unfolded the small square to its full size. He outstretched his free hand, silently requesting your arm. After complying, he made a pained expression out of empathy. “This might sting a little,” he warned.

  
You only nodded in understanding. At this point you felt very worn out from this evening's events. So much crying, vulnerability and embarrassment in a short amount of time. It was all very exhausting. The tears have ceased for a while but your puffy eyes told the tale. You didn’t flinch as the sting of the alcohol entered your bare wound. Obi-Wan only sent a glance towards your now emotionless stare before returning to the first aid kit.

  
He discarded the used alcohol pad to his side for now and got the antibacterial gel and a cotton pad from the kit. He applied a small dab of the ointment to the pad and began to gently apply around the cut. Once it was spread evenly, he put the cotton pad with the other trash to be thrown out at a more convenient time. Replacing the cap to the tube of ointment, he returned it to the contents and swapped it out for gauze to create a makeshift bandage. The standard bandages weren’t long enough to cover the wound properly and Obi-Wan wanted to be thorough. After taping down the gauze, he looked to your eyes trying to gauge your feelings.

  
“Does that feel comfortable?” Obi-Wan asked. You didn’t seem to want to make eye contact with him, but you did nod ‘yes’ to his question. Obi-Wan felt partly grateful he was able to be here to mend your wounds, but his mind couldn’t help but drift to what would have happened if he never found out. Would you go as far as killing yourself if he wasn’t there to save you? His heart twinges at the awful thought.

  
Obi-Wan brings your arm up to his face and gently places a kiss on the delicate skin of your scars. The hairs of his beard tickled your arm. This action brings heat to your face as you snap your head towards him. He lifts his head but not enough to meet your gaze. He is too lost in melancholy thoughts to do so.

  
“I don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you.” He spoke so softly it was almost a whisper. His head lifts higher to stare into your eyes as he makes his next request. “Please. Don’t do this again.” He was practically begging. The look in his eyes gave you goosebumps. You couldn’t think of a time previously that he made a face even remotely similar. He was very serious with his gaze steely and jaw set.

  
“Yes, Master.” You said, looking down, ashamed of your actions. Seeing the shame on your features, he felt guilty. You never should have been in this situation in the first place. He should have known you were struggling and he could have helped you. Obi-Wan saw this as his greatest failure to you as your Jedi Master.

  
“If there is ever anything bothering you, you can come to me. I will always be here for you.” He said, reaching up to brush some stray hairs behind your ear. His eyes bore into yours. Your face flushed at the intimacy. Obi-Wan didn’t wait for your response and pulled you into his warm embrace once more. He smoothed your hair down with the gentle strokes of one of his hands. His other hand was around your waist. You reached your hands around his middle, enjoying the contact. He placed a quick kiss to the top of your head.

  
Obi-Wan pulled away and placed his hands on your shoulders. “Will you be okay for the rest of the night? I will stay if you need me here.” You saw the sincerity in his features, but you were feeling well enough for tonight.

  
“I’ll be fine, Master.” You assured him with a weak smile. He returned the favor and stood to take his leave. Obi-Wan pointed towards the glass on the nightstand.

  
“Be sure to finish your water. You’ll need to rehydrate after all the ‘excitement’ of this evening.” He said with a playful tug of his mouth.

  
“Yes, Master.” You said, grabbing the glass and taking a sip.

  
Obi-Wan made his way towards the exit before turning back to face you once again. “Also,” He started, “why don’t you sleep in tomorrow. Younglings your age need at least 9 hours of sleep and it is already very late. Don’t worry about your lessons. Your health comes first.”

  
“I will.” You said. “Thank you, Master.” Your face formed a ghost of a smile at Obi-Wan’s kindness. Obi-Wan heart lifted seeing you were actually doing better than when he first arrived.  
“Goodnight, [Y/N]” he said as he opened the door.

  
“Goodnight, Master Kenobi” you returned. Obi-Wan smiled before leaving your quarters to head back to his own.

  
With the click of the door locking for the night, he turned on his heels to face the hallway. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. How was he going to sleep tonight?


End file.
